Immortality Magazine - An Online Magazine Devoted to Exploring Physical Immortality

Loverfriends

~ Chapter 12 ~

One common myth that keeps us sexually stagnant and stuck in old patterns is the idea that sex will ruin a friendship. Between women and men, women have sexual power (often more than they realize) in most cases and they are the ones that act as sexual gatekeepers in male-female friendships. If sex ruins a friendship then it is obvious that the friendship wasn't very strong to begin with. If the introduction of greater pleasure between two people creates a problem, this carries a discouraging philosophy: keeping things at a low vibration will help keep relationships going. Many people are much more willing to begin a new sexual connection with someone who is obviously toxic for them instead of being intimate with a friend.

A friendship can feel secure and safe in its celibate state. Sex brings up emotions that can make one feel less in control. Well, control is an illusion anyhow so it's best to surrender when mutual feelings exist. If it is a one-sided attraction then it would be damaging to explore sex since it must feel congruent for both parties. However, it is easy to be out of touch with your feelings because you're so used to the role that you've been playing that you have a hard time envisioning it differently.

It is useful to be silent with your friend. Talk can keep you in your head and prevent you from feeling what is actually present. Try eye contact to see what is really there. It's possible to spend time with a friend for so long that you lose touch with what is going on in their eyes. Pay attention, as there is a strong connection between two people experiencing each other's eyes.

If you become sexual with a friend, it is important not to fall into any roles or patterns, or feel a need to define that relationship in traditional socialized terms. There is no need to try to figure out what will happen next or what this “means.” Importantly, do not attempt to tell yourself the ridiculous message that sex ruins relationships. If you tell yourself this enough, you attract what you fear by manifesting what you falsely believe to be true; thus making it true.

Friends often make great lovers because the heart connection is already present. You know, trust and understand each other. Fear not to enhance that intimacy. If your friendship is true and deep, it will take more than sexuality to threaten its sustainability.