Immortality Magazine - An Online Magazine Devoted to Exploring Physical Immortality

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Person Addiction

First, a definition for addiction is required. An addiction is a fixation upon something other than your relationship with the divine. I spent the majority of my life as an atheist so I have great empathy for people with this perception. It makes sense in many ways and the paradox is that without belief you experience no sense of God. When and if you begin to experience God you may look back and see how everything made sense in your life and everything happened perfectly. However, I mention this as I use addiction as relating to a relationship with the divine or "Divine." If that doesn't fit it may loosely be stated that an addiction is a fixation with something outside of yourself. An example that would contradict this would be a fixation upon your body which you may consider yourself. Or you may become fixated with disease or fearing that you are in some way not healthy. For the most part an addiction is a fixation with something that is not you that distracts you from your fears.

I have found that one of my deepest fears is that in my aloneness I will go insane. It is common for many people who get in touch with their psychic/intuitive abilities to fear insanity. This is one of the ego's greatest tricks to prevent the budding aware person from reaching peace. Insanity is commonly feared more than death since the spiritual seeker senses that death would be liberation from the body that often feels it is suffering. However, it is impossible to reach harmony by simply dying without facing and overcoming one's fears.

Because my work and much of my free time is solitary in nature, my ego has in the past tried to trick me further by saying that I am somehow safe when in contact with another person (email, phone, and especially in person) as if the physical, thought, or verbal presence of another can keep me safe. I believe that this has been a core challenge for me to transcend. It seems that by keeping me in a fearful, dependent state, my ego keeps me from feeling safe alone. Also, I am prevented from more deeply exploring my thoughts.

In reality I know that it is a sense that I am safe in all situations that keeps me peaceful. It is only my tricky thoughts that get in the way. As I recognize them (at write about them to share with others) it seems they hold less power over me. I suppose the only way that fantasy thoughts remain powerful is to not recognize them as fantasy.

It is of course important to have contact with others when guided to do so, but when it become compulsive or arises from a sense of neediness, it falls into the realm of an addiction. It seems that many of us are unconsciously acting out patterns of our past...trying to create a family pattern that is based upon how we raised. If we are stuck in this mode we may very well be keeping ourselves from experiencing our true destiny. We may want to live alone, or in a community, or with one roommate, but if our unconscious patterning states that we must live as a "nuclear family" then we will not even consider alternative forms of living. I personally feel drawn towards living alone at this time. I enjoy being able to more deeply explore who I am despite the fears that I have run into along the journey. I have faith that fear is not the final goal of this life...just a phase to pass through into a space of lightness and wholeness.